Back in the U.S.A.

It's strange being home. At the airport even impatient people waited in line. Outside the airport there wasn't a single taxi driver hollering at me hoping to dupe me into paying an exorbitant amount of money for a ride home.

I finally had a burrito. Its price was fixed and my attempt at bartering to get it cheaper was met only with confusion.

I showered and the water was clean, hot, and fresh (it was all salt showers in Dahab), and I could step on the tiled bathroom floor with my bare feet without worry of contracting a fungus. I walked into a closet and chose from a variety of more than 10 shirts and I also had more options than simply jeans or shorts. I could have watched TV in English. I didn't, but I could have.

I drove a new-ish car on the right side of the road. There were no old clunkers on the road, no camels, no donkeys, no tractors, no buffaloes. I felt overly restricted by the traffic rules. I stayed in my lane, drove only at the speed limit, obeyed stop signs and red lights. I played my own music loud enough so I wouldn't have to hear myself sing along.

It was green. Trees, grass, bushes, flowers. All of Michigan looked like a golf course with spotless manicured lawns. I never remembered Michigan being so lush.

There was a nasty thunderstorm with hail and winds strong enough to knock over the flagpole. The power went out, and a tree fell on the neighbor's house. The storm subsided and I spent my first evening home helping to chop and clear a tree that pierced the roofing of the house.

I've been unable to clear my plate. The portions are too much. No one else appears to have the same problem. I went to the mall. Almost everyone there was obese. Almost morbidly so. I saw round, stout body shapes that I've never seen anywhere but here, in the good ol' USA.

Everyone spoke English. I understood every word spoken and did not have to speak slowly or over-annunciate in order to be understood.

I slept in a comfortable bed with clean linens. There were more pillows than I knew what to do with. I had dreams about being home and happily woke to the reality that that's just where I was.