Sure, it's good to be thrifty but some things just shouldn't be second hand

Excuse me, were you looking for new or perhaps slightly used underwear? Yeah, they have it here at the market, but it’s not over here by raw cow stomach and other undescernable cuts of beef, it’s over there by the vegetables. See them, just over there, on the other side of the bok-choy, cucumbers and melons? Yep, that’s them, just across from the strange, light-brown milk that’s only recently been chilled after sitting out in the sun for days on end.

There’s plenty of colors and styles, though maybe none of them are the really impolite pairs you wear that go up your butt, but they have all kinds of, oh what do you call them? Grandma underwear. That’s right. Well, I guess you didn’t read your Lonely Planet Guide Book, but around here they’re not just for Grandma. And they’re really cheap too. Well, sure, they’re slightly used but as long as their isn’t any skid marks left they’re clean enough, right? But just in case, buy your vegetables and raw meat first, before you go handling all the hand-me-down undies.